46-year-old Richard Quintero called 911 in High Point, North Carolina last Thursday letting them know that he was Jesus and that he'd finally returned to Earth. He then told the operator that he'd broken into a Pizza Hut to eat pizza and drink Mountain Dew.
When the operator asked where he lived, he said he was from Heaven.
This guy was the star of today's Dumb Awards as you can probably tell from hearing this call.