There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
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